As you know, I occasionally try my luck at getting published.
If you're a Bay Area resident, then you'll know that KQED's 'Perspectives' series provides a perfect opportunity for amateur writers, such as I, to get their 'work' published. Being a big fan of the series, I decided to give a try.
Unfortunately, I got rejected (on reasonable grounds, I must add), but in this age of immediate self-publishing, I thought I'd share it with you anyway.
Note: non Bay Area residents: this will make no sense to you whatsoever.
Rejected: My perspective for KQED (See rejection letter below)
Yes, I listen faithfully to Morning Edition, Marketplace, Presidential speeches, and Click and Clack. I find it strangely difficult to switch off Prairie Home Companion when I’m doing my chores on a Sunday morning. But all things considered (no pun intended) I recognized the warmest glow of affection for those fabulous NPR foreign correspondents and their exotic names and locations.
Can anyone fail to be enchanted, for example, by the name Ofeibea Quist-Arcton and the dramatic, yet undoubtedly dialectically correct way she elongates the second syllable of Da-kar with a gloriously rolled ‘r’? Every time I hear that ‘r’ I imagine Ofeibea crouched over an antiquated tape recorder in a tiny, corrugated shack, insulated only from the noisy bustle of a crowed souk outside by egg boxes stuck to the walls.
And what of Lourdes Garcia-Navarro’s reports from Jerusalem. Would reports from the holy land be quite as authoritative if they weren’t presented by a correspondent who shares a name with the famed location of multiple supernatural appearances by the Virgin Mary?
Even the seemingly uncomplicated last name of Steve Inskeep (spelled Ins-keep) conjures up the welcoming and trustworthy proprietor of some homely tavern on a dusty road between two nondescript dots on a map.
And then it struck me: could these evocative names be NPR’s one indulgence? Might this be its one deviation from that otherwise uncompromising promise to deliver news and insights, as truthfully and faithfully as NPR listeners expect?
Could it be that Ofeibea’s real name is Jane Slade and that she works in an air-conditioned office in a suburb of Dakar that more resembles Anaheim than the Arabian Nights?
Might the authoritative sounding Nell Greenfieldboyce’s real name be one that lends itself less well to the great issues of science and technology? Perhaps she is simply Nell Green?
Whatever the truth, I have resolved that I’m willing to tolerate this indulgence. If Ofeibea is Jane, and Lourdes is Lucy, that’s okay by me. Just keep the news and insights coming, and please, Ofeibia, never ever stop rolling that glorious ‘r’.
With a perspective, I’m David McCulloch.
MY REJECTION LETTER:
Thanks very much for sending this to me.
I enjoyed reading it, but have to respectfully decline it because we avoid using Perspectives to advance our own interests. I’m also thinking our listeners might revolt if somehow dreaded Pledge infected two minutes of airtime they’ve come to believe are Pledge-free.
But I appreciate your kind words and your support.