mccullochblog

Let's invade China.

Some days I don't even have to try to dislike the Chinese government. I mean, I also often don't have to try hard to dislike the US government, but honestly...how can the world's wealthy nations continue to ignore China's brutal stance on human rights and free speech. For fucks sake, there are more important things than selling PCs aren't there?

Less than a week after President Hu Jintao called for a "harmonious society" in China, the AFP caught Jintao's top security official Luo Gan calling for "a crackdown on hostile forces".  Gan's comments unsurpsisingly highlighted the "importance of safeguarding stability in the Tibet and Xinjiang regions" and warned that "the Internet must also be strictly supervised to prevent it from being used by those hostile forces to spread their messages."

I mean, why did the USA bother invading Iraq when the Chinese are clearly supressing free speech, religion and indigenous culture and we KNOW they have weapons of mass destruction!!! Go get 'em Dubya!

A monk writes...

Not that it appeared in any major US media of course, but I was encouraged to read in the Times of India that the United States is paying some attention to the strange goings on in Nepal.

Between the actions of a despotic King and a heavily-armed guerilla army, the Nepali people have it pretty tough at the moment, but I'm pleased to report that I received word from one of the young monks I met in Kathmandu back in the summer.

I'm not entirely clear that Boudha Sonam Topgyal ever received my previous correspondence but from his cheery note reminding me of my visit to his monastery I deduce that life in Kathmandu isn't too bad after all - at least not for everyone.

Meanwhile, today my main contribution to the global peace movement was to watch the Motorcycle Diaries and spend money at Starbucks. Viva the revolution!

Not your average fairy tale...

Be honest. Nobody wants to see this sort of thing in public. Obviously everyone gets off with an ugly girl once in a while (I'm talking about a long time ago, honey) but HRH Prince Charles must have been sober at some point in the years that have passed since Diana's death.

I can almost hear the cries of a generation of Disney-educated kids when they watch the royal wedding in April can't you? "Mommy, mommy, that ain't no Cinderella!"

I, for one, will be boycotting the wedding and heading off to the golf course as I suspect Her Majesty the Queen is planning to do.

Sunday: A Quiet Revolution

In an exhilerating example of the power of persuasion, it seems Emma has been converted to the Tibetan freedom cause by my constant anti-Chinese-Government rhetoric.

We were strolling around the excellent Asian Art Museum in San Francisco today when we stumbled unexpectedly upon a Tibetan Buddhist art section. After having our sense of injustice suitably roused by a video describing the steadfastness of buddhist traditions despite "the changes since the Chinese invasion", Emma suggested we go downtown and shout "Free Tibet" at the Chinese New Year procession.

For a moment, I considered this an excellent idea (not to mention publicity opportunity) but then reminded myself that my beef with the Chinese is with its Government, not its people. The procession continued, therefore, unharrassed.

In the end I considered that a more appropriate and peaceful way to protest would be to order a Free Tibet baseball shirt and a Free Tibet fridge magnet on the Internet.

The Best Conversation with a Taxi Driver Ever.

I've always been one for striking up a bit of banter with a cab driver on my way home from the airport, but the older Indian man who drove me home this evening was just a gem. I had tears of laughter in my eyes after this exchange:

DM (me): “Do you have a woman waiting for you when you finish your shift?”

TD (taxi driver): “No. Women, they are too irritating!”

DM: “Oh really, why do you say that?”

TD: “All of my friends, I have met their wives, and they are all repulsive!”

DM: “Repulsive? That’s a bit strong?”

TD: “Yes, it is strong. And they are strong! My friend he says “I am the king of my house”, but I have seen him with his wife and he is the mouse of his house!”

DM: “Well, I suppose some men are luckier than others.”

TD: “I was dating this woman once and she said to me: 'I will kill myself if you do not marry me'….but she did not kill herself!”

DM: “Did you marry her?”

TD: “Yes, I married her.”

DM: “Well there you go then!”

TD: “But after I married her, I wanted to kill myself!”

 

Great Names for Great Things.

I flew in and out of Orange County’s John Wayne airport today. Isn’t that a great name for an airport? As I stood staring at the 12 feet high bronze statue of the world’s most famous cowboy (see pic), it struck me that more great things ought to be named after great people.

I mean, isn’t it rather boring that San Francisco’s gateway to the world is simply San Francisco International Airport. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to land instead at Tony Bennett Airport where “I left my heart in San Francisco” plays constantly on the PA system?

And how about renaming Boston’s rather dull Logan airport for Cliff Clavin? Was there ever a warmer welcome than at Cliffy and Norm’s Cheers bar? (Other suggestions welcome!)

Oddly enough I read that San Francisco’s city supervisors are actually considering this harebrained naming convention for the under-construction Bay Bridge. Apparently the structure is fairly likely to be dubbed the “Emperor Norton” bridge.

If the name does prevail, San Francisco’s ‘other’ bridge would be named after a nineteenth century eccentric who squandered his gold rush fortune and in his ensuing mental breakdown declared himself the first Emperor of the United States and protector of Mexico, printing his own bank notes to boot.

It all seems strangely appropriate for  San Francisco don’t you think?

Naples, Florida

Welcome to Bush Country: Jeb Bush Country. Naples, Florida. Where every community is a gated community and where the streets of every gated community are deserted. Where Oldsmobiles are a top seller and every road is three lanes wide and yet it’s still rush hour every hour, even though nothing ever happens and nearly no-one goes to work.

Welcome to Naples, Florida, where there are no side streets, no curves in the road and no sidewalks and where seeing pedestrians is just weird, unless they’re strolling around the 15-year-old ‘historic’ downtown. Welcome to Naples, Florida where dinner is served at 5.30pm and restaurants get you in and out “nice and quick”; where 60.7 years is the median resident age and 65 degrees in February constitutes a ‘cold snap’.

Welcome to Naples, Florida, separated from civilization by 90 miles of alligator-infested swamp land. We think you’ll like it here, if you’re old.

*Note. The 32-year-old author recently accidentally spent two days in Naples, Florida and now understands he should have stayed in Miami for the whole week, except for the golf, which was nice.

Making friends and influencing people.

I was most encouraged to hear that one of Condoleezza Rice's first actions as Secretary of State would be to embark upon a European tour aimed at revitalising relations with European nations, following the strains caused by the Iraq invasion.

Yes, it's been refreshing to hear Condy use more conciliatory language towards international counterparts since she came to office. Words like:

Attacking Iran is not on the US agenda "at this point in time".

It is "no secret" that the US has concerns about Russia's commitment to democracy.

Ah well, I suppose we should be grateful she's not messing with North Korea at the moment. And Condy is at least speaking some sense in urging Europe not to end the arms blockade on China until the country improves its human rights record. Good for you, Condy.

But doesn't she look like the alien in Mars Attacks?

I can't come to work today...I'm rich.

The technology industry can be a peculiar industry in which to work some days.

Take today, for example. I was on a conference call at 9am about something terribly strategic when I noticed Jodi waving at me (also on a conference call), dragging her finger across her throat while saying the name of one of my most favorite clients, a Director of Corporate Communications with whom I'd bonded last week over a major project that had us both in the office at 4am. The gruesome gesture was the sign that Maureen's role had been 'eliminated'. It seemed there was no place on the $800 million company's payroll for her anymore.

Later the same day, I found myself in the HQ offices of a major Silicon Valley Internet company, where I heard a spectacularly contrary tale. "There were three of us in the department," the head of International PR told me, "but then one day my boss phoned in rich...it happens fairly often around here." Phoned in rich. What a marvelous phrase. I must steal that and pray I can use it some day.

But it is crazy isn't it? One lucky person finds themselves in the right place at the right time and never has to work again. Another picks a good place at the wrong time, works their ass off and then gets 'rationalized' in the interests of optimizing 'shareholder value'.

Free market capitalism. It's a wonderful thing.

Now where did I put that damned lottery ticket...

If I was King...

Isn't it marvelous that in this day and age - when there are democratic elections even in Iraq -  a King can still sack his entire government for failing to do a good enough job of running the country. It makes you wonder what the US would be like now if Bill Clinton could follow the lead of Nepal's King Gyanendra and sack George W for doing such a terrible job as his successor.

There's a disturbing side to events in my favorite country (Nepal has been completely cut off - no phone lines, no flights in or out) but most of the Nepalis I met in Kathmandu five months ago were telling me they wanted King Gayenendra to do something exactly as decisive as this.

Still, it's odd to think that all the taxi drivers, young monks and students whose company I enjoyed on my sabbatical are now living in a cocooned state of emergency.

Stranger still is the coincidental (?) news of the Chinese government  'welcoming' the "immediate closing of the local offices of the Dalai Lama in Kathmandu". This despite the fact that these offices have for decades helped thousands of refugees from Tibet resettle. Oddly, the government ordered the closure because it suddently realised the offices were not registered...or so they say. Oh, and apparently there was "no pressure" from the Chinese government.

Has China invaded Nepal? Would anyone care?

In slightly happier news about the Chinese government, one Tibetan's life was spared this week when Tenzin Delek's death sentence was commuted. The charges against Delek, a highly respected Tibetan monk renowned for his efforts to protect Tibetan culture and lifestyle, were never made public in the first place, so it seems only fair that he wasn't murdered for nothing.

Astonished yet? Maybe Michael Moore should make a movie about it all. Failing that, I recommend a visit to www.tibet.com and some letter writing to local politicians.