mccullochblog

2005: A Blogrospective

As the year nears its close and I approach the twin terrors of my mid-thirties and the possibility of not getting World Cup tickets, it seems to be the perfect time for pouring a glass of port, cutting a piece of cheese and mulling over the highs and lows of 2005. Pull up a chair and join me, why don't you...

Most Rock 'n' Roll Moment of 2005: Live8 - Admittedly no-one can quite recall whether those G8 fellows actually eliminated third world debt, but wasn't it a great show? I was delighted to be there with bro'.

Least Rock 'n' Roll Moment of 2005: London Bombings - I don't suppose I'll ever forget sitting in a Pret-a-Manger in Hammersmith and sensing the panic when the second consecutive Thursday of terrorist attacks struck London's tube system.

Lucky Escape & Meteorology Prizes of 2005 (Double Winner): Bruce of GlastoWeatherWatch.com. Prior to narrowly escaping being blown up in the above bombings my friend Bruce had created a seminal work of Internet Art at his Glastonbury Festival weather prediction site. Of course, his forecasts didn't predict the flash floods that hit the festival at all, but no-one seemed to mind once we found the Cider Bus.

Most Abused Pontiff of the Year: The (Dying) Pope. There is little doubt that Simon and I will go to hell as a result of the mock newspaper headlines that flew between us back in May, but God how we laughed. Surely Pope JP II himself would have seen the funny side of: Men in red go to bed, unfed. No nosh until Pope chosen, by gosh.

Most Humbling Moment of the Year: Meeting miners in Potosi, Bolivia - Nothing funny here. Meeting people who work for 12 hours per day underground to earn $6 per day and who's life expectancy never exceeds 30 years from the day they enter the mines is...well, humbling. Time to top up that glass of port methinks....

Lucky Escape of the Year (Silver Medal): Road of Death, Bolivia - Bloody hell the mountain bike ride down that road into the Bolivia rainforest was scary. Emma and I felt they really should have called it....oh, yes, they did.

Most Embarrassing Moment of the Year: My Birthday Dinner - Dad will never let me forget the fact that I made him, mum and Emma dress up in their best suits and dresses prior to taking them to an open air meat and vegetable market for my birthday meal. In retrospect, I should have guessed that a place called the 'Goods Shack' wasn't all that high-end.

Thing I'll Definitely Never Ever Do Again of the Year: Kayaking in Hawaii - Just in case you're in ANY doubt whatsoever, 16 miles in open seas in a Kayak is as much fun as crawling up a mountain made of shards of glass on your hands and knees. You don't want to do it. Ever. But I confess, I did tell Emma to go ahead and book it in the first place.

Really, really good fun thing of the Year: Hollywood with Mum - Whereas I'd strongly recommend against kayaking (did I mention that already?), I'd strongly recommend taking your parents to Hollywood...it's brilliant.

So there you go, 2005, it's not been a dull year, I suppose! Watch this space for the special "We've completely ignored our 2005 New Year's resolutions" blog coming soon.

Not Censored, Just Broken

Eagle-eyed readers will have noted the mysterious disappearance of the Mr Blatter post along with its comments for a few days. This is not because I received a call from FIFA about my camera infraction, but because my hosting provider....ummm....screwed up.

Their specific explanation was as follows: "During routine maintenance of our network and storage systems last night, we experienced an issue with our primary disk system where data from published blogs are stored."

Is it just me, or does that sound a bit suspiciously like human error? Eddie the cleaner spilling a bit of bleach down the back of the 'big computer'? Or perhaps Christmas party related? Someone making out in the server room? Hmm? Come on Typepad, give us the truth!

Dear Mr Blatter

Emma and I recently demeaned ourselves by writing a letter begging an Irish building contractor to sell us his recently remodeled home for more money than most people will earn in several lifetimes. Having failed to secure the property, I felt thoroughly cheated and resolved never to throw myself upon the mercy of someone who - like me in his position - wouldn't care about anything but the cash anyway. Then, what do you know, I got this email from FIFA about 30 minutes ago...

Your application is currently being transmitted to the 2006 FIFA World Cup™ Ticketing Center. You will receive an e-mail confirming the status of your application within the next 48 hours.

...and so naturally I thought it was time to beg and pray and hope again, so here's my letter to head of FIFA, Mr Sepp Blatter.

Dear Mr Blatter,

Emma and I would REALLY like some World Cup tickets. I know you know this already, because this is the third time I have applied. However, I wanted to appeal to you personally, as I dare say you'd like that sort of thing.

Anyway, the first time (Japan 2002) I applied, I was successful, but now that the tournament is being hosted in a country full of football fans, I seem to be having a bit more trouble.

If you can see your way clear to getting us the tickets we've asked for, I'll naturally pay you back (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) in the manner that officials of FIFA are used, unless of course, you've gone clean now, in which case, we'll consider the matter closed.

If we can get into those seven games listed in my application, I'll even forgive the fact that despite being born in Switzerland you support Real Madrid. I mean there's nothing wrong with Real Madrid per se, but what about Grasshoppers of Zurich? Aren't they a bit closer to home?

Anyway, we're straying off the point. I just wanted to mention that I've never been a hooligan, nor have I done anything much illegal inside a stadium, except possibly  smuggling my zoom lens into that match at that multicolored stadium in Portugal (now where was that?) but I don't think that counts because I never sold the pictures or anything. So, there you go, I'm the model football fan. So, go on, givvus some tickets!!!

Lots of love,

David and Emma.

No Easy Games in International Football

Exciting news from Germany this week - the World Cup draw was made! Thankfully England will not play Holland in the early stages, thereby averting a family crisis temporarily.

Sadly, aside from the excellent public transportation, the pristine autobahns, the efficient hotels, the outstanding stadia and the fervent local support, there is absolutely nothing good about the next World Cup being in Germany. I can't wait for South Africa in 2010.

Fundamentally, there are just too many football fans in Germany and too many countries nearby with the same problem. Japan was easy. No-one wanted to go there, so Poddy and I got tickets no problem. Portugal was relatively easy too thanks to the Portugese being too poor to afford the tickets, but Germany...pah! too many rich football fans by far.

OK, maybe there's one good thing: the matches will be played at roughly 6am, 9am and 12pm Pacific Time, which is a damn site better than the 11.30pm, 1.30am and 4.30am of the Japan World Cup. Clearly, I am still going to have to miss a lot of work in June.

Of course, I'd much rather BE in Germany in June but everyone knows there's bugger all chance of getting tickets. Just for fun though - why not, I play the lottery - I'm going to apply for tickets for the third time on Monday. Don't hold your breath.