As the year nears its close and I approach the twin terrors of my mid-thirties and the possibility of not getting World Cup tickets, it seems to be the perfect time for pouring a glass of port, cutting a piece of cheese and mulling over the highs and lows of 2005. Pull up a chair and join me, why don't you...
Most Rock 'n' Roll Moment of 2005: Live8 - Admittedly no-one can quite recall whether those G8 fellows actually eliminated third world debt, but wasn't it a great show? I was delighted to be there with bro'.
Least Rock 'n' Roll Moment of 2005: London Bombings - I don't suppose I'll ever forget sitting in a Pret-a-Manger in Hammersmith and sensing the panic when the second consecutive Thursday of terrorist attacks struck London's tube system.
Lucky Escape & Meteorology Prizes of 2005 (Double Winner): Bruce of GlastoWeatherWatch.com. Prior to narrowly escaping being blown up in the above bombings my friend Bruce had created a seminal work of Internet Art at his Glastonbury Festival weather prediction site. Of course, his forecasts didn't predict the flash floods that hit the festival at all, but no-one seemed to mind once we found the Cider Bus.
Most Abused Pontiff of the Year: The (Dying) Pope. There is little doubt that Simon and I will go to hell as a result of the mock newspaper headlines that flew between us back in May, but God how we laughed. Surely Pope JP II himself would have seen the funny side of: Men in red go to bed, unfed. No nosh until Pope chosen, by gosh.
Most Humbling Moment of the Year: Meeting miners in Potosi, Bolivia - Nothing funny here. Meeting people who work for 12 hours per day underground to earn $6 per day and who's life expectancy never exceeds 30 years from the day they enter the mines is...well, humbling. Time to top up that glass of port methinks....
Lucky Escape of the Year (Silver Medal): Road of Death, Bolivia - Bloody hell the mountain bike ride down that road into the Bolivia rainforest was scary. Emma and I felt they really should have called it....oh, yes, they did.
Most Embarrassing Moment of the Year: My Birthday Dinner - Dad will never let me forget the fact that I made him, mum and Emma dress up in their best suits and dresses prior to taking them to an open air meat and vegetable market for my birthday meal. In retrospect, I should have guessed that a place called the 'Goods Shack' wasn't all that high-end.
Thing I'll Definitely Never Ever Do Again of the Year: Kayaking in Hawaii - Just in case you're in ANY doubt whatsoever, 16 miles in open seas in a Kayak is as much fun as crawling up a mountain made of shards of glass on your hands and knees. You don't want to do it. Ever. But I confess, I did tell Emma to go ahead and book it in the first place.
Really, really good fun thing of the Year: Hollywood with Mum - Whereas I'd strongly recommend against kayaking (did I mention that already?), I'd strongly recommend taking your parents to Hollywood...it's brilliant.
So there you go, 2005, it's not been a dull year, I suppose! Watch this space for the special "We've completely ignored our 2005 New Year's resolutions" blog coming soon.
You think I'd take me mum to Hollywood? Puh. That's where that spoilt Lady Di used to hang with all the hoidy-toidy, who told her she was smarter and better lookin' than me. Made me head back ovah to butter-face Camilia, and ditch the brats in school so I wouldn't have to deal with 'em, wot?
Yeh, If I were you, ovah livin' in the colonies, I'd be hittin' the vino and cuttin' the cheese too.
That's all the sods in Marin did at the bloody natural vegetable markets when we walked by -- made sour barking noises and bronx cheers at Cam and me. Last time I'm takin' me Rollies and royal contingent and demanding free food, lodging, security and the red carpet treatment there.
Posted by: Prince Charles | December 21, 2005 at 01:48 PM
2005 in Perspective
1. Downing Street lies brought to light --> more lies. Nobody bloody cares.
2. Hurricane Katrina -- lousy Yank federal prevention or support; lots of people starve and are forced from their homes. Lots of spin and lies and empty promises, e.g., instead of doing something, the solution was to repeat, "Don't use the blame game." U.S. looks like a third world country in parts and a fractured political and class system running the broken system. Sound familiar?
3. Charlie and Camila visit S.F. Nice, but a bit odd. Why wouldn't they go to Canada to see the organic farming there? Or in Oregon, Washington, Idaho? Guess they wanted to tour Text 100/S.F. No political statements about the Downing Street lies or Iraq "war." Don't bloody rock the boat or say anything that a royal wouldn't say.
4. Another U.S. Hurricane. Another problem with the people getting food/water and rescue.
5. 2000 dead brave U.S. soldiers in Iraq; another 17,000 wounded; 120,000 Iraq citizens killed; how many UK/Italian troops dead or injured? It's never discussed here. No pictures of coffins or injured soldiers/civilians except in the BBC. Why? Solution: ignore the problem, don't question the govermnent -- they know what's right for you and it's unpatriotic to ask if it's all worth it -- and turn on the telly = chewing gum for the mind.
6. 2004-05 book sales decrease worldwide. People aren't reading. They're watching the telly and are bollocking around on other people's "Blogs."
7. Snow brought into S.F. for company to conduct snowboard and ski jumping. S.F. residents complain. City collects money but it's not enough to cover police, clean up costs. People wonder, "Wot just happened here? Why wasn't this money spent on cleaning up the homeless problem or feeding the elderly, or building/cleaning up a park?"
8. Soccer team that won two US National soccer championships in the past four years, leaves Bay Area. Nobody notices.
9. NHL Hockey not played in 2004-05. Sports and regular world yawns. People are too busy watching re-runs of, "Are You Being Served?" "The Avengers," and "Benny Hill."
10. Tidal Wave/Tsunami hits one of the most beautiful parts of the world. People stunned. Unbelievable footage of the waves coming in to devistate the people, animals, houses and buildings. Points to unpredictable natural events and catastrophies that could occur anytime. Survivor's stories are gripping.
Has the damage been repaired? What about the humans, pets and animals that can't take care of themselves? Have we done enough as a human race to make things better and to help others this pass year -- or are we just plopping, tuning into t he telly and tuning out from making a bloody difference?
NAF Yank
Posted by: NAFYank | December 22, 2005 at 01:09 PM
Is it really you?
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41158000/jpg/_41158952_wigan270.jpg
Posted by: Anu | December 26, 2005 at 04:14 PM
No. I was at Liverpool with my cousin Ian McCulloch of Echo and the Bunnymen.
Posted by: David | January 01, 2006 at 02:20 PM
David--did Ian ever send you my perspective on your Hawaii kayak adventure? From the few details I had about it, I would have to say whoever rented you the kayaks in the first place was clearly negligent!
Posted by: Kris in Hawaii | January 02, 2006 at 01:42 AM
Funny you should ask - he did pass on your opinions and I must say I'm inclined to agree. Clearly $100 is the value of a life on Kauai!
Posted by: David | January 02, 2006 at 10:34 AM
We're always constantly amazed that the kayak vendors here rent to people in life-or-death conditions.. (Such as right now...deadly high surf here... yet go down to the bay today and you'll see tourists determined to launch rented kayaks.)If you ever come to the Big Island (although you might be soured on Hawaii now) look me up and we'll take you outrigger paddling with my club. More fun than kayaking and we always evaluate our visitors for condition and experience before we take them anywhere! K.
Posted by: Kris in Hawaii | January 02, 2006 at 03:14 PM