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December 12, 2005


That was Aveiro. The Venice of Portugal.

Don't bother David/Emma....

And I quote:

Reasons To Stay Home
"They are a little too much the perfectionists. We still haven’t found the optimal solution. If everyone has to show their papers, it will take four hours before spectators are in the stadium." – FIFA president Sepp Blatter on Germany’s proposed ticket control procedures

The Germans, methodical? Whatever next?

Wot's it like to go watch Jolly England go down in the first round? Painful, unless you've had about ten rounds under your belt before you even get to Old Trafford, Hannover, Stuttgart or wotevah pitch they're bleedin' losing on, wot?

Buncha' lazy sods from Chelsea and Birmingham bollocking off on the pitch. Should combine the sport with cricket (e.g., Lacrosse) so the fans get some real action and bloodshed.

Difference between a Yank event and a Brit one: At a Yank event, the food/Pint vendor in the stands can pass the item down the row, the buyer politely passes down the Quid, and then the change gets passed back. In the former world power, the food or beverage will never reach you and the bloody Quid will disappear on the way to the vendor!

Me letter to the Soccer Bloke:
We really don't give a rat's arse whether you sell us tickets, but I'm sure the local merchants will because we're bringin' a pot of Quid from the States and intend to spend it freely in Germany.

Unlike the hooligans from our country, we promise to only fight, bite, scratch and kick German fans if they make fun of our rotten automobiles.

And just to make it interesting, me "crumpet," Emma, says she's gonna bloody shave her head like Sinead O'Connor if the Irish or Germans beat the Brits. That should be worth a couple ducats.

If you don't want to sell 'em to us, stuff it and bollock-off two times. We'll stay home and watch reruns of Fantasy Island -- which is the only place where England could actually win the Cup -- and check out the results on the Beeb.


David and Emma Peel

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