One of the pleasures of living in San Francisco is that once in a while I get to take a break from the cut-and-thrust of PR to provide overseas visitors with my quite-riveting, tailor-made tour of Northern California's historical highlights. Yes, I feel sure that you will be bubbling with envy for the trip I've just taken mum and her friend Corrie on.
But think! For the small fee of a a bag of Cadbury's chocolate, some soccer magazines and some dutch cookies, you too could enjoy a luxury tour (in a state-of-the-art Japanese SUV) of such sights as the Empire Mine (richest golf mine in California history), Sutter's Mill (the first place gold was found in California), Old Sacramento and Nevada City (the original gold rush towns).
And, for the extra price of just a small gift for our home (we'd quite like a plasma TV, please), you can also enjoy a side-excursion to neighboring Nevada's Las Vegas, home of the overfeeding, underexercising, audacious-hotel-building, gambling-addicted of America. Yes - it's true - baby lions, spectacular theatrical shows and moving walkways to transport you between meals are all within your reach!
But, hurry, this offer won't last forever. Availability is strictly limited and only available to family members, close friends and anyone willing to pay enough money to help us ascertain whether there's actually a career in being tour guides.
And if you call within the next 20 minutes on 1.800.GOLD.TRIP, that's 1.800.4653.8747, you'll be eligible for the free gift of a Luxor Hotel Shower Cap in the shape of a pyramid, only recently removed from said establishment. We're waiting for your call!
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