As Facebook followers know by now, Emma unexpectedly spent the past week in hospital after being admitted last Monday in a lot of pain. The experience turned our world upside down. Last night, she was discharged and today, as life begins to return to normal, I'm reflecting on what I learned from it all.
1. You Don't Know How Lucky You Are - Last week, we thought we were lucky to be getting a tax refund and celebrated with a nice Valentine's night dinner. This week, we were reminded we're just lucky to have each other and to be able to enjoy our own home.
2. Everyone Should Have Access to the Same Level of Medical Care - A distressed Hispanic couple were in the admissions room at the ER at Mills Peninsula Hospital at the same time as us. We overheard them attempting to bluff an answer to the question about medical insurance. After a few moments of discussion, the admissions nurse turned them away. Really? I mean REALLY? Is that the way the world's greatest country treats people when they're sick or in pain? We DO need healthcare reform now.
3. Patient Empowerment Isn't Always a Good Thing - In the ER, a family in the cubicle next to Emma's seemed to have come for a day out. While their obviously healthy baby took up a hospital bed, a heart-attack patient opposite had to suffer untold pain sitting upright in an armchair. "Did you consult your pediatrician first?" the calm but frustrated Doctor asked the baby family. "No" came the answer. "We want an X-ray", they announced. "Your baby doesn't need an X-ray. Unnecessary X-rays aren't good for your baby," responded the doctor. "We want a breathing treatment!" they exclaimed. "Your baby is fine. Go home." We do need healthcare reform, but we also need stupid people to behave responsibly so that those who really need healthcare get it when they need it.
4. Nurses Rock - Why would anyone want to do a job that involves being on your feet for eight hours, cleaning up vomit and inspecting bodily fluids on a four-hourly schedule? Nurses are great great people. Thank you nurses for caring so much. If only everyone could foresee the inevitable day they find themselves in hospital, I'm sure you would get paid more.
5. Electronic Medical Records Are Only Useful If.... - They contain your entire medical history. The Sutter Health EHR had no record of two surgeries Emma had in 2007 at a Kaiser Permanente hospital (which were directly relevant to her visit this time), which kinda made her medical records useless. "So, Mister Jones, which leg is it that's hurting you?" "Ummm....the one I didn't have amputated in 1963, doctor."
6. Medicine Is a Science...But Not an Exact One - Between the time we were admitted last Monday to being discharged at 10pm last night, Emma received five different probable diagnoses for her pain. It took 24 painful and medicated hours just to get the result of an ultrasound scan...which proved inconclusive. It took about another 12 hours for the doctors to come to a decision about what to do with the results of a subsequent CT scan. When Emma finally signed the consent form for the surgery, she had to 'okay' a couple of possible scenarios rather than approve the one they knew they were going to do. Medical science is amazing today...but it's still also a lottery.
7. You Need Each Other...But You Need Friends Too - This week was tough for us. Emma and I have found a perfect balance in our lives. We rely heavily on each other but it only works when we're both here. When that balance was broken this week, boy! did we need some friends to help. Help with baby sitting. Help with food preparation. Help with support. Help with grocery shopping. Help with just about everything so we could focus on getting Emma healthy. Thank you to everyone who helped this week. We'll never forget!
Hi David and Em,
Totally agree on all the medical comments. I've had enough knee surgeries to have experienced everything you mentioned (short of the life threatenting end of it). We do need health insurance but we also need a revanp of the tort laws in this country so that frivolous lawsuits don't affect a Dr's malpractice insurance which then requires them to get consent for every possible scenario in the world. Once, I had to sign two consent forms for one proceedure - one clean up and lateral release on my lateral side of my left knee and another so my Dr could check on the medial side that had gotten all the previous surgeries - one surgery, one set of artho-holes and incision, two consent forms. stupid...
As for patient empowerment, a little knowledge can be a very bad thing for most of the general public. However, there is no replacement for knowing your body and using some common sense.
I am sooooooo glad Em is doing so much better and is home...
Ann
Posted by: Ann Burrow | February 22, 2010 at 10:19 AM
Ann - I couldn't agree more on the "knowing your body" point. I'm pretty sure my dad would have lived longer if he could just have explained how he was feeling. Knowing that people (especially in California) DO tend to take good care of themselves made it all the more frustrating to see people taking up an ER bed without any concern for whether they really needed to be there!
Posted by: David | February 22, 2010 at 01:55 PM
David,
First, I'm so glad Emma is home now and recovering. You both are very lucky to have each other and your loving family and friends, which, after going through something similar, I now know are the most important things in life.
Second, I whole heartedly agree with all of your thoughts above, especially number six, that medicine is not exact. In fact, medicine is an educated process of elimination. Forgive my rant, but when I was experiencing unbelievable pain, it took three doctors 10 weeks and five tests to finally figure out what it was, followed by surgery and the removal of an organ (from which I'm still recovering eight months later).
Third, with every experience like this, you learn more about yourself and your life priorities, and like you said, you learn how truly lucky you are.
Take good care of yourself, your beautiful wife and precious son.
Katie xoxo
Posted by: Katie Taylor | February 22, 2010 at 04:39 PM
Thank you, Katie. It's a little sad, to say the least, that we have to go through pain to recognize the value of what we have, but I guess it's not a terrible thing to be reminded about the GOOD things in life, one way or another.
Posted by: David | February 23, 2010 at 09:28 PM
I just sent you a have fun in hawaii text message and email. I should have checked this first. Ignore me :(
I hope you are all doing better, and if there's anything AT ALL I can do next week please let me know.
Ella
Posted by: E. | February 26, 2010 at 12:13 PM
Phew. We missed a lot. Can't wait to catch up in person.
Posted by: Dushka | February 28, 2010 at 08:33 PM
It certainly hasn't been a quiet couple of weeks, Dushka. Then again, I have a feeling you'll have a few adventure stories to tell when we next get together too!
Posted by: David | March 01, 2010 at 10:47 PM