mccullochblog

Facebook, privacy and that party you wished you'd skipped back in college.

 I have to say I think all the hullabaloo about Facebook's privacy settings is a lot of hogwash.

Since our lives became filed and stored neatly online for posterity (where others can find those salacious photos and relationships we want to hide quicker than they used to be able to find them), the general populace has become obsessed with a 'privacy' that never really existed. 

Facebook is the online equivalent of inviting 300 people to come to your house for a party. You know, like you used to back at college. Some of those people you know well, right? Some not so well. Some you don't know at all. (Hey, people bring friends to parties, don't they?) 

And if you think back to those types of parties....did they ever pass off without something getting broken? Maybe someone unplugged the fish tank and all the guppies died? Or someone fell in the pond? Or someone got really wasted and had to be carried home. And, of course, someone made out with someone they shouldn't have.

And did you ever really have control of who was passing on all the juicy news from the party later that weekend? Or what became of the photo that was taken at 3am of you speaking to God on the big white telephone. Nope.

OK, so a huge college party isn't exactly the same thing as Facebook....but it's pretty darn close, even down to the fact that your parents probably aren't invited to your Facebook page either.

I know what you're thinking: "What about privacy for children?" Well, as a parent, I sympathize....but I'd still say the same thing. 

I mean, when you go to the park to play with your child, are you absolutely 100% sure no-one's taking pictures of you with a telephoto lens from across the street? Of course not. And unless you carry a pocket-sized version of the child offenders registry with you every time you go out, can you ever be sure some sicko isn't looking at you and your kids? No again.

The point is...that's life. It always has been. Whether it was your name and address in the phone book (you had to opt OUT, remember) or the village gossips and their twitching curtains telling everyone your news...we've never really had privacy. 

We've just never noticed that fact so clearly as on Facebook! 

Dreaming of the World Cup....and World Cup Songs.

Only four weeks to go until the World Cup. And what better way to build anticipation than with some fine and rousing World Cup songs? 

With a team song like this one, would anyone bet against my Dutch boys?

Hup Holland Hup!

William's First Steps!

Look at me....I am walking!

Being the Other Parent

Being the dad of a social toddler is odd sometimes. 

Occasionally it makes me feel like I'm the spouse of a Governor or a Prime Minister.

You know...you show up to functions, smile, and shake hands with strangers.

These days those strangers are the parents of other toddlers who attend the same playgroups, schools, swimming lessons and reading circles as William.

And of course, half of those strangers aren't strangers at all....they're mums-in-arms and the best-of-friends of each other. But the other half -  we dads - we show up alongside the mums and take smiling to a whole new level to compensate for the fact we don't know anyone as anything other than "Dexter's dad".

Tonight was one of those nights when we dads were required to mingle. In fact, it was more than that...we were required to share our innermost thoughts about the challenges of parenting as part of a moms and dads 'pajama party' at William's play school.

Gulp.

Share innermost thoughts? With a group of people about which you know absolutely nothing except that they too are parents!?

But that's what William's teacher asked us to do as we obediently sat around a table on 14"-high chairs. (picture above, courtesy of an eaves-dropping wife!)

She might as well have asked: "Has anyone had any problems with their bowels recently?"

For a long moment there was a stony silence in the circle as twelve men struggled for an answer and wished they were somewhere else. 

Anywhere else.

Then a brave soul spoke out: "Well, it's quite hard to set boundaries You know. I mean, how many times can you say 'no'?"

"Yeah, yeah..." muttered a few around the table.

Then more silence.

Someone else offered a thought in response to some quiet urging from the teacher:

"What about TV? Is it bad that my kid watches TV already?"

"Only if he's not watching the Seahawks!" someone answered, and everyone laughed.

The relief in the room was palpable as the dads sighed a collective sigh which signaled that the conversation had shifted from awkward innermost thoughts to the universally popular subject of sports.

Well...what did she expect, right? We're dads! 

We throw balls. We throw our kids around. We read them books punctuated with animal noises. We roll around on the carpet with our kids and we try to make every bath time more exciting than the Shamu show at Sea World.

When you only get to spend an hour or two a day with your child, there just isn't time to worry about the challenges of parenting. Dude...it's great just to BE a parent! 

Anyway, William's teacher is great, but if I was her, chairing another dads discussion, I wouldn't ask them about the challenges. 

My opening question would be: "OK, would anyone like to say anything about why being a dad is awesome?".

Hell, yes! Me first! I just saw William take his first steps today!

Don't blame Goldman Sachs for the Recession. Blame the Cartaya Family!

 This morning, I read an article titled "Mortgage Paid. A Dozen Debts to Go" in the Wall Street Journal that almost made my head explode.

The story was about how tough banks are being on folks who can't afford their mortgage payments.

This theme plays nicely, of course, with the popular belief that the global financial crisis and housing market meltdown were the fault of Bear Stearns, AIG and Bank of America, or possibly the Greek government or British hung parliament (pick your enemy)...so long as it's not the poor, humble home owner.

Only what was shockingly clear from the story was that the typical struggling American home owner seems to be taking almost no responsibility for their own financial well-being!

For example, the Journal introduces us to the Cartaya family, who apparently had managed to rack up debts equating to 70% of their income. Desperate for help, the article reports that the Cartayas asked JP Morgan Chase to reduce their mortgage payments.

Then, they secured the help of a nonprofit counseling group to negotiate down their credit card interest rates, after which the poor Cartayas had to give up one of their two cars to make ends meet. (Imagine!)

Finally, they were forced to make the ultimate sacrifices. The Cartaya's gave up....wait for it..."vacations and eating out."

Can you believe that? These poor desperate people have to get by on ONE CAR. As if that isn't enough, they have to COOK THEIR OWN FOOD and NOT GO ON VACATION!

And then I stopped to think...wait a minute, my tax payments had to bail out AIG and Bank of America because the freaking Cartaya family didn't want to give up more than VACATIONS AND EATING OUT!??

People...if you can't afford to spend 70% of your income on your mortgage, multiple cars and irresponsible retail spending, you DESERVE TO LOSE YOUR BLOODY HOUSE!

To be frank, our house has lost a chunk of value too in the past three yars, but I suspect that if I pop into Wells Fargo on Monday morning asking if they wouldn't mind reducing my mortgage payments, they'll tell me to go to hell!

Well, I don't care. I'd rather struggle on than give up my holiday home in Tahiti.

William finds his feet.

A friend once told me that to prepare for parenthood I should set my alarm clock to go off at regular intervals during the night. I didn't do it, but I soon learned what he meant when William was born.

That same friend might have also mentioned that I should wrap my furniture in some sort of protective cladding when William gets mobile!

William hasn't quite made it to 'independently mobile' yet, but he's putting his walker to good use. You know....in the same way that auto makers put crash test dummies to good use!