Being the Other Parent

Being the dad of a social toddler is odd sometimes. 

Occasionally it makes me feel like I'm the spouse of a Governor or a Prime Minister.

You know...you show up to functions, smile, and shake hands with strangers.

These days those strangers are the parents of other toddlers who attend the same playgroups, schools, swimming lessons and reading circles as William.

And of course, half of those strangers aren't strangers at all....they're mums-in-arms and the best-of-friends of each other. But the other half -  we dads - we show up alongside the mums and take smiling to a whole new level to compensate for the fact we don't know anyone as anything other than "Dexter's dad".

Tonight was one of those nights when we dads were required to mingle. In fact, it was more than that...we were required to share our innermost thoughts about the challenges of parenting as part of a moms and dads 'pajama party' at William's play school.

Gulp.

Share innermost thoughts? With a group of people about which you know absolutely nothing except that they too are parents!?

But that's what William's teacher asked us to do as we obediently sat around a table on 14"-high chairs. (picture above, courtesy of an eaves-dropping wife!)

She might as well have asked: "Has anyone had any problems with their bowels recently?"

For a long moment there was a stony silence in the circle as twelve men struggled for an answer and wished they were somewhere else. 

Anywhere else.

Then a brave soul spoke out: "Well, it's quite hard to set boundaries You know. I mean, how many times can you say 'no'?"

"Yeah, yeah..." muttered a few around the table.

Then more silence.

Someone else offered a thought in response to some quiet urging from the teacher:

"What about TV? Is it bad that my kid watches TV already?"

"Only if he's not watching the Seahawks!" someone answered, and everyone laughed.

The relief in the room was palpable as the dads sighed a collective sigh which signaled that the conversation had shifted from awkward innermost thoughts to the universally popular subject of sports.

Well...what did she expect, right? We're dads! 

We throw balls. We throw our kids around. We read them books punctuated with animal noises. We roll around on the carpet with our kids and we try to make every bath time more exciting than the Shamu show at Sea World.

When you only get to spend an hour or two a day with your child, there just isn't time to worry about the challenges of parenting. Dude...it's great just to BE a parent! 

Anyway, William's teacher is great, but if I was her, chairing another dads discussion, I wouldn't ask them about the challenges. 

My opening question would be: "OK, would anyone like to say anything about why being a dad is awesome?".

Hell, yes! Me first! I just saw William take his first steps today!

Comments

[Dushka]

WHAT? He's walking?

[David]

He's only managed four steps so far...and none caught on film, but he's definitely about to get super mobile!

[E.]

amazing!