mccullochblog

Why I Despise Reality TV

We've just had a mightily jet-lagged week after getting back from the UK.

Last night we crashed into bed at around 8pm and flicked on the TV in the hope of relaxing a bit before we slept.

Emma put on Supernanny. She likes to 'relax' by watching reality TV.

I, on the other hand, would prefer to be roasted on a skewer over an open fire while being eaten by alive by rats and snakes, than spend one unnecessary minute watching reality TV.

For those of you who find this odd, I thought I'd go through some public self-therapy and share with you how Reality TV makes me feel:

Real Housewives  - "How can these incredibly stupid and annoying people have more money than me? And how come they don't take me to dinner?"

Bachelor / Bachelorette - "I need to lose weight. Can my wife tell I'm staring at those women? Have I got manboobs?"

Home Makeover TV - "I paid too much for my house. My house is a mess. My life is a mess."

The View - "Life sucks. Please, please, please stop reminding me!"

The Biggest Loser - "Some people are just incredibly fat / stupid / annoying. Why reward them with a TV show?"

America's Got Talent - "No it hasn't."

Supernanny - "Oh my God, I'm ruining my son's life already" or see 'The Biggest Loser'.

Big Brother - See 'The Biggest Loser'

Hell's Kitchen - "Just STOP SHOUTING AT EVERYONE YOU OBNOXIOUS IDIOT!"

I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out Here - "If I frittered all of my money away, would TV producers pay me hundreds of thousands of dollars to appear half-naked on a dessert island? I bloody doubt it."

America's Next Top Model - See 'Bachelor / Bachelorette'.

Project Runway - "How is it possible to make so much money and have your own TV show by insisting people wear such hillarious nonsense in the name of fashion?"

Anything with Victoria Beckham - "People? Why can't you see that she is the world's most utterly vacuous and annoying waste of space? What's the matter with you? Are you all stupid? Honey? No...no...no....ARRRGGHHHHHH."

 

2011 New Year's Resolutions

Watching my best friend, Ian, get married at the turn of the decade helped me resolve to try once again to make some big decisions and moderate change s in my own life in 2011.

Why not, eh? New Year’s Resolutions and all that.

Actually, looking back at last year's resolutions, I achieved 56% of my  pledges, so I think there’s plenty of grounds for optimism in crafting a new set.

Admittedly, I did not manage to make as much progress on my book as I would have liked, nor did I visit the Farallon Islands or Washington DC. And didn’t get to a 49ers game.

In my defense, I did secure TICKETS to a 49ers game but had to sell them when I went to Chicago to visit by brother instead. And we went to Seattle as a family, which sort of makes up for missing DC, right?

Yes, not organizing said best friend’s bachelor party BEFORE his wedding was a fairly major miss, but he has been quite open about having it later this year.He did, after all, get married after having three kids, so he’s not exactly a stickler for tradition.

Anyway, here we go then: a fistful of new resolutions for 2011.

1. I really really will finish half of my novel in 2011. Really.
2. I will organize Ian’s stag party before he celebrates his wedding anniversary.
3. I will find a smashing venue for my 40th birthday party (for 2012!)
4. Our little family will ride the Canadian Rockies train and go somewhere cool in France or Italy or (any suggestions?) when we go back to the UK for Emma’s sister’s wedding in October.
5. I will make plans to go to the Olympics in London in 2012.
6. I will get William a fish tank for his bedroom in honor of his fish-keeping granddad
7. I will get my US Citizenship application sorted
8. I will lose 10 lbs. (Only kidding.) 

What about you then? Any pledges for the new decade you’d like to share?