We've just had a mightily jet-lagged week after getting back from the UK.
Last night we crashed into bed at around 8pm and flicked on the TV in the hope of relaxing a bit before we slept.
Emma put on Supernanny. She likes to 'relax' by watching reality TV.
I, on the other hand, would prefer to be roasted on a skewer over an open fire while being eaten by alive by rats and snakes, than spend one unnecessary minute watching reality TV.
For those of you who find this odd, I thought I'd go through some public self-therapy and share with you how Reality TV makes me feel:
Real Housewives - "How can these incredibly stupid and annoying people have more money than me? And how come they don't take me to dinner?"
Bachelor / Bachelorette - "I need to lose weight. Can my wife tell I'm staring at those women? Have I got manboobs?"
Home Makeover TV - "I paid too much for my house. My house is a mess. My life is a mess."
The View - "Life sucks. Please, please, please stop reminding me!"
The Biggest Loser - "Some people are just incredibly fat / stupid / annoying. Why reward them with a TV show?"
America's Got Talent - "No it hasn't."
Supernanny - "Oh my God, I'm ruining my son's life already" or see 'The Biggest Loser'.
Big Brother - See 'The Biggest Loser'
Hell's Kitchen - "Just STOP SHOUTING AT EVERYONE YOU OBNOXIOUS IDIOT!"
I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out Here - "If I frittered all of my money away, would TV producers pay me hundreds of thousands of dollars to appear half-naked on a dessert island? I bloody doubt it."
America's Next Top Model - See 'Bachelor / Bachelorette'.
Project Runway - "How is it possible to make so much money and have your own TV show by insisting people wear such hillarious nonsense in the name of fashion?"
Anything with Victoria Beckham - "People? Why can't you see that she is the world's most utterly vacuous and annoying waste of space? What's the matter with you? Are you all stupid? Honey? No...no...no....ARRRGGHHHHHH."
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